I am being stalked…..by pain fml.
Just when I started to feel more human after the c-section, my jaw began to hurt. Quite a mild discomfort actually, so I thought I’d just get it sorted like a good girl before it gets worse. Expected at most a filling but lo and behold, my dentist told me I needed a root canal. He also told me that if my molar had cracked, then I’d need a tooth implant. Gahhhhhh!!! Ain’t nobody got time for this!!!!
Anyway did the root canal procedure which was painless but after the anaesthesia wore off my jaw was legit hurting. It was so bad, we were in a mall and I just started crying. Hubs fasterly got me some ibuprofen from pharmacy and it alleviated the pain thank goodness. But at night, the ibuprofen doesn’t seem to help much. I have this constant throbbing pain on my right jaw. Obviously I cannot bite down on my right too and it sucks coz I love and enjoy food.
I feel so frustrated with myself because I am not giving 100% to either of my children or my husband. Liam is on school holiday now and he is basically just watching youtube toy reviews for hours while I nurse my jaw pain and Lily. I am a horrible, moody person when I am in pain so hubs is suffering the brunt of it.
Not to mention, all the money that is flying out because of ME. First the tough pregnancy…fortnightly obgyn visit pretty much throughout the pregnancy, cerclarge surgery, routine cerclage removal also ended up in OT gah, then the birth…got charged both natural birth AND emergency c-sec and now this! Root canal and crown and if I am really that unlucky, a fucking molar implant that could cost about RM10,000 for one fucking tooth that will take months of agony to complete. All these money that we could use to buy a car for cash! I just cannot…!!!
I am thankful for a husband who supports me and pays for everything without so much of a complaint and yet I cannot even control my emotions or my literally bitchy, gnarly resting face with him. I am such a miserable company now that I honestly feel like I am better off dead. I shout and roll my eyes at Liam cause my patience is nil. I nurse Lily yes, but instead of enjoying her I just want every session to be over asap. And I am on ibuprofen although it’s supposedly safe for breastfeeding I hate the idea of giving Lily drugged up milk. I tried to tough it out without painkiller but I couldn’t, I won’t wish this pain on my enemy.
It’s actually Lily’s full moon today and yet I feel so incredibly useless. I feel like I just can’t get back on my feet despite my best effort.
Sorry for the longass rant I need to get this off my chest.